Craft : Jar of Messages

I haven’t blogged in too long! So I thought I’d share with you what Sam and I gave eachother this Valentines Day 🙂

Sam got me one of my favourite perfumes, Gucci Rush – I’m so bad at describing scents that I’m not going to even try, but it’s a really soft gorgeous scent and is beautiful! Go try it

I wanted to make Sam a present, so I had an idea to make him a jar of messages, 1 for every day that was between the end of the visit and the day he moves up to live with me! #cute I came up with the idea from coming across the website Kind Notes – an American website where they can create a message jar for you, where you either pick from generic messages or get someone to handwrite ones you come up with (for extra cost). This was a good starting point, but obviously as I’m from the UK I couldn’t order from here, and it is much less expensive to make this sort of thing yourself! (and so much fun too!!)

IMG_3892 IMG_3895 IMG_3896 IMG_3897 IMG_3898 IMG_3899

Here it is! It took a loooong while to make, because first I had to write about 120 messages and then I individually wrapped each one in tissue paper, newspaper or white craft paper. I then decorated these with little cut out hearts. I filled the bottom of the mason jar with pink tissue paper confetti, and put some near the top layers too. I also added in things like jelly beans, chocolate kisses and a chocolate heart lolly-pop right at the top which said ‘I love you’ 🙂 I decorated the outside of the jar with ribbon which I glued on, and I added a small heart bell I found in a little shop. 

Total price for this was £15-20, I could have got a cheaper mason jar but I wanted a big one because I had a lot of messages to put in it! Although it cost about the same price as a decent shop-bought gift, I really loved the experience making it and coming up with lots of little messages. Some were song lyrics, others messages telling him I loved him, and others memories from things we’ve done together. Sam loves it and tells me what the message says every day when he opens one.

Lucy x


Closing the Distance: The Approach is Near!

Sam and I have made and edited so many plans for closing the distance over the last 14 months that I can’t start by saying ‘we had THIS plan, THAT was what we were doing, and now IT’s changed’, but regardless I had gotten used to the most recent developments and today was surprised by that all changing and the promise of closing the distance three months sooner!

To start, as my flat let with my friends finishes in May this year, and the process of buying a flat for us is already underway, we thought it would be great if Sam could move up in June, however some factors which I won’t go into led to that being changed to sometime in August, outwith our control. At the time that was a big let down, but obviously an idea that in the meantime we’ve both heavily gotten used to. Events today, however, led to Sam announcing on Skype that he can move up at the start of June! YAY!

I’m now sat in bed, alone to my thoughts ’cause Sam fell asleep just before the time we’d planned to Skype (fail!) and I have all the emotions right now, so I thought I’d form some kind of coherent post. This has always been the plan – keep going Long Distance until Sam can move up and in with me, but bringing the close closer means it has all just got a whole lot more real! (I mean, how far away does August seem!) If you’re in an LDR and considering making the move then I hope something I say here is of help – otherwise, enjoy the feels-fest!


Sam and I are unlike the university couples which surround me, who rent a flat together in term time then go off to their respective family homes for the long summer and winter breaks (and times in between). I’m at university in my home-town, and Sam works for a living, so we will be in our flat together 12 months out of the year. This means that I won’t spend university breaks with my family any more! I say that like that’s all I live for, when in reality last year I chose to spend most of the summer in my rented flat and found our two-week caravan escapades a bit TOO much of my family after all the separation. But there was still the choice! It’s weird feeling grown up in my family now – I have an elder brother who has moved city, so holiday times when he’s staying it’s nice to be there too and pretend we’re all still a big young family again and that we’re not all going our separate ways.

Time with Sam shall – after the next two or three visits – no longer be all-encompassing fests of relationship-ness where we stick together 24/7, eat together, shower together, live for eachother during that week or so that we get to spend together. Suddenly it will be all ‘I’m going out, see you later gorgeous’ and ‘I’m just going to play PS3 for a couple hours, then I’ll come through’. ahhhh! I think that will be a change which it will be hard to make register at first! That Sam doesn’t owe me all his attention whilst in my presence, and vice versa. I mean currently I can have legit conversations with him, such as ‘Hey Sam, next visit – I don’t mind if you bring your 2DS for when I’m writing my essays, but please the rest of the time can you leave it alone’, or know that my friends don’t mind if I share my time that week between watching movies and going out with Sam…and staying in and having sex with Sam, end of.

SKYPE!! It’s been like my constant friend (and bitter enemy when it chooses the worst times to play up – Sidenote: Every time is the worst time) for over a year! A year and a half by the time we move in together! It will be SO WEIRD never talking to eachother over a computer screen! First world problems, eh. Obviously it will be better because you can’t reaaally be there on Skype, but it is a constant which I’m used to. I shall have to take the next three months as an opportunity to take as many silly Skype screenshots as possible. I know it sounds weird stressing over this one, but I’m a nostalgic gal.

Living with friends will be a big thing to miss! Of course, I shall be living with my BEST friend, but the daily quirks of being in a noisy flat with all your uni pals is still something to pass a thought for. All the things which come with this too – getting free range of decoration schemes, being able to move around your furniture every two weeks because ‘it looks better this way’, impromptu life chats with your besties, getting to laugh at the more conservative of my flat mates freaking out whenever someone leaves the shower room in just a towel, being able to look like a slob all day then pop on lipstick or mascara just for Skype (#ldrSecrets), where not being in the kitchen is the only way to be out of the loop of your friends’ latest degree-change concerns, and not having to do aaalll the chores because a chore rota for five is fairer. This is a year of my life with friends which I will cherish for a long time, and not forget all of the hilarious fun we’ve had here.

I’m going to have to keep up to date with the waxing/shaving. Damn

Sam may not be as happy as I am to live on homemade leek/potato/courgette/stockcube soup.. for two weeks.. for every meal.

Really, it’s just going to be different. (A very much good different). I won’t sit in my bed with the Plain White T’s ‘Hey There Delilah’ on repeat, thinking melancholy thoughts about the distance between me and my beau. I won’t spend hours searching Etsy for long-distance-relationship products (only to scowl about how 80% is state-to-state aimed for all them Yanks). I won’t have a turbulent relationship with poor-working technology – a current constant – at least, not for those reasons. I won’t prepare for special visits, where I plan out the situation of arrival – down to the rose-petal covered bed (a bit awkward for when you actually want to get on the bed without little bits of dry rose petal sticking to you or making a huge mess on the floor when you actually try it). I won’t pine away for 2-3 months between seeing him. There won’t be days that I don’t get to hear his voice or see his face. I might have to change the name of this blog. Those arguments which arise more from the fact you’re arguing on Facebook chat and sending passive aggressive replies without kisses, or forget who you’re arguing with because you’re just responding to a heated message will be replaced by real face-to-face ones. I won’t cry so much – not to properly bring up that issue, but many a tissue is soaked for a long distance thing! I won’t be alone on the dance floor, or walking home late from the library, or in bed at night.

The thing about long distance is that you’re constantly feeling a loss. There’s always something not there, it’s not like you wouldn’t want them with you at that moment if you could engineer it that way. We’ve had so many hard times, so many times when the going gets so tough that it can seem overwhelming, and as one of my close friends likes to chant at me whenever I query things ‘You deserve it’. I agree. It will be 21 months since we had met when we finally close the distance and set up a fresh chapter of our life together. 21 months that really I wouldn’t swap for anything. I’m so proud of us, for what we achieve and what we cherish as a result, how even the act of seeing eachother can be so emotional and euphoric and sensual and really every kind of feeling! How many couples get to know eachother the way we did. Our love story is a journey which has had so much thrown at it and survived, with an ever-promised HOPE of finally bringing a time when we don’t have to say goodbyes on a platform and walk home alone.

Here’s to the next step when it comes *internet toast*

Kay that got quite emotional at the end there Lucy *emotional tears* – told you LDR’s bring tissue-soaking. Quite a full circle of a post if I say so myself. I love you Sam, enjoy waking up to this in your inbox!

Lucy x

The power of attraction

Exploring the power of attraction is, I think, something which has both come naturally to, and saturates mine and Sam’s relationship. I think that it would be really interesting from an anthropological perspective to explore the relationship of attraction in couples. Unless you too are part of a couple where the pull of attraction comes out in unusual ways – and I presume the majority of couples will relate to this to some degree – it may be confusing what I mean by that, so I hope this clears it up:

Sam makes me swoon really easily by pretending to bring his face close to kiss mine, and then changing the destination of his lips, to my cheek, nose or forehead. Repeat that 15-20 times and I am literally begging him to properly kiss me! To do this with your partner you need to make it a really focused moment, as if you’re getting really intense – look them in eyes and hold their gaze. It’s a really effective form of teasing which you don’t need to do in the privacy of your bedroom. And when you’re done teasing you can let all that passion loose.

Sam and I have a really strong relationship with words which bring up memories of events that cause intense feelings. There is an emotional tie to each of these words (and actions) which is what causes them to have any sort of effect. Talking about it with Sam, he says that they make him feel close to me, ‘like they’re our own code of love’ and that ‘each word which we turn into our own is a situation that we experience that brings us closer’ CUTE.

Early on in our relationship, Sam used to point at me and say “anticipation” – which would make me literally like fall over. Weird, I know, but bloody effective every time. This started from anticipation of our next kiss. Kind of a progression from the kiss-swooning.

This then evolved into abdominal spasms when either of us says “spasm” to the other, to the extent that it can hurt. When we’re on Skype Sam sometimes says “gravity”, and if I’m lying on my stomach with the laptop in front of me this has before made me hit my head on the keyboard – hence ‘gravity’. We can’t remember how this began, but it pulls us closer together 😉

We also, of course, have the natural reaction to seeing each other’s bodies during video calls. Cue: more abdominal spasms.

So do you think this is really abstractly weird, or do you have your own secret signs of attraction? I think it’s quite gratifying seeing the effect that your words/body/actions have on your partner, whilst not explicitly involving sex in any way.

Lucy x



Being that friend who makes everything sexual, I’ve recently adopted the catch-phrase ‘kinky’ when amongst my university friends, so I felt this post was both relevant and anticipated. Lucy x


This is something really easy for beginners to kinky sex. Introduce yourselves to spanking using hands only, try on each other so you both know how it feels to receive. Work up to using a spanking paddle – if not wooden, these are usually leather on one side and satin on the other, giving two contrasting stings. Be aware though, that whilst using a paddle on your partner you’ll find it harder to judge the strength of the spank, so intersperse your harder flicks with softer ones.


Dressing up, or rather dressing down is a very easy way to add new dimension to sex. If you’ve ever wondered what it feels like to be a policeman/fireman/maid/stripper/burlesque dancer/nurse/doctor then here is a suitable output. Role-play goes hand in hand with costume – it doesn’t need to be extravagant, a few words or actions can be sexy enough. Police hat and black underwear? Handcuff your partner and tell them they have a right to remain silent. (..then see how long they can manage). 


Bondage comes in many forms: rope, satin ties, leather cuffs, tape – and it is something which instantly ups the kink factor, through dominant/submissive play. Sam and I are quite experienced with this, though usually on him, as I don’t like feeling that out of control, however more recently we tried again and the result was wonderful for both of us. Bondage tape is probably the best material to use, it’s not sticky, but its static-like qualities will keep it together if you layer it, and it is more comfortable than rope, and more secure than satin ties. If you’re new to bondage, go slowly, and if you feel panic rising then focus not on the sense of lacking control, but on the sensual sexual mood the play dictates. 


Sounds scary, is something you’ll likely never consider, but choking has its place in the world of kink. There is something insanely sexy about having your neck touched when being submissive. If you and your partner wish to try it, have your partner stretch their hand out over your neck – this way their touch doesn’t necessarily have to be tight for it to be very present. Either have a safe action (obviously not word), or – what I think is preferable – use your own hand to tighten your partner’s grasp if you wish it so – they know they’re not doing it too hard, and you are getting the pleasure you want, to the degree you are comfortable with. The ultimate dom/sub scenario, choking invites fantasising during sex.


A very naturalistic and raw action, scratching during sex can feel wonderful for the receiver. It tells them how much pleasure you’re getting, and it gives pleasure back – and encouragement to go harder/faster. The receiver has to be the person on top, easiest when in the missionary or cow-girl positions. Scratch both hands down their back from their shoulder blades to their bum – a longer scratch which follows the curves of their body is more sexy. Try squeezing their bum after, or spanking.

Nipple Clamps:

Women’s nipples have a remarkably high pain threshold – they’re made to survive the possibility of a baby biting them during breastfeeding, so  a little bit of kinky play can feel very pleasurable for them. The beauty of the female nipple is that it can react to both the lightest touches and rougher play, and the nerves in your nipples are linked to those in your clitoris, hence talk of nipple orgasms. You don’t need equipment to do rougher play, however nipple suckers and nipple clamps can allow for multitasking. A word of caution though, build up to rougher nipple play over a course of days/weeks – during sex when the nipples are filled with blood you feel more pleasure than pain, but exuberant kinky play can leave your nipples feeling very sensitive for the next few days to any sort of squeeze or touch. 


Removing a sense during sex can bring instant sexual gratification, and sight is by far the easiest. Sex with the lights off, for a couple who usually leave them on can be romantic, passionate, sensual – but sex blindfolded and aware that your partner can still see everything they do to your naked body is hot. If you blindfold your partner, then be sure to add a little of the unexpected – holding an ice cube between your lips trail your mouth up and down their body, or use a feather tickler to sensitize their skin. Tease them until they can take no more.


Anal sex and anal play are kinky in that they are still rather taboo in 21st century society. I’m going to dedicate a whole post to anal at some point, but know that it is both intimate, feels good for both parties and can be euphorically erotic in the right place at the right time.

Sexy Stocking Fillers

A FESTIVE POST! I’ve collected together 9 sex accessories/toys from which I think would make ideal stocking fillers for your partner! These are all rrp under £15, and some are sale items as these are the sorts of product which tend to go on sale at this time of year.

Blindfolds 1. Blindfold!

Fifty Shades of Grey No Peeking Soft Twin Blindfold Set 

rrp: £11.99,  sale price: £10

Erotic Dice2. Erotic Dice!

Erotic Sex Dice Game

rrp: £4.99

Bullet Vibrator3. Bullet Vibrator!

Rocks Off Ammunition RO-80mm Erotic Ink Bullet Vibrator

rrp: £12.99

Festive lube4. Festive Lube!

Lovehoney Chocolate Orange Flavoured Lubricant 100ml (Also Mint Chocolate available)

rrp: £5.99

Tenga Egg5. Tenga Egg! (Japanese technology male masturbater)

Tenga Egg Hard Boiled Cloudy (Large range of textures available here)

rrp: £9.99, sale price: £5

Butt plug6. Butt plug!

Tracey Cox Supersex Beginner’s Butt Plug

rrp: £9.99, sale price: £5

Massage Oil7. Massage Oil!

Earthly Body Massage Oil 30ml

rrp: £3.99

Vibrating cock ring8. Vibrating Cock Ring!

Lovehoney Basics Vibrating Rabbit Cock Ring

rrp: £8.99, sale price: £5

Oral Numbing Spray9. Oral Numbing Spray!

Comfortably Numb Spearmint Deep Throat Spray 29ml

rrp: £8.99


Hope you enjoyed this stocking fillers guide! I think that it’s always nice to give your partner a sexy gift for Christmas, even if just a small one! Lucy x

IN THE NEWS: Male contraceptive pill

Contraceptive_PillThe male pill: this much called for pharmaceutical phenomena has hit the headlines once more recently – though only in yet another research form. For decades the concept of a male hormonal form of contraceptive has been thrown about by scientists and journalists whilst modern men are taking a rising role in wanting to ensure protective sex and stopping unplanned pregnancies. The female pill was invented 50 years ago, so what happened to sexual equality?

  • Men produce 1,500 sperm every SECOND, women 1 egg every ovulation cycle (a month)
  • Men are fertile basically from puberty until death, women are fertile for a short period each ovulation cycle until menopause

So basically its waaaaay (keep adding a’s) easier to control 1 egg than 20-400 million sperm cells released in an ejaculation! As Sam has said to me when we discussed this, it only takes one sperm to get you pregnant. Scientists in Australia and Britain have discovered through testing on mice a way to stop men’s sperm coming out of the ‘storage area’ (vas deferens) – effectively acting like a short-term vasectomy. Though just 95% success rate, this is a big step up from the traditional research path which aimed to malform sperm before it exited the body – and has never hit the market due to the real dangers of causing long-term infertility. However, keeping the sperm inside the body involves changing DNA – something I for one don’t like the sound of!

Other forms of male contraception have popped up over time, including an injection into the testes which causes infertility for 10 years – but can be reversed by a further injection of sodium bicarbonate (the stuff in your baking cupboard) at any time. This is actually administered in India, with doctors saying that some Western men come to India to get the injections. Why haven’t pharmaceutical companies jumped on this bandwagon?! This method is cheap and long-lasting, they want to find expensive short-term methods so they can get maximum profit. From a male point of view, and to quote Sam “I am never letting anyone put a needle near my balls” and you can only undergo this once or twice in your life – so timing is essential.

Men do however worry that they’ll lower their testosterone levels by taking hormonal contraception. Actually exactly the opposite – ever wondered why bodybuilders are infertile?

What I do find hilarious is the number of news articles and science articles I’ve read where the male writer says that the likeliness of a fall in sex drive and hormonal effects on behaviour are some serious side effects to consider.  … Welcome to the sisterhood!!! Lucy x

Embarrasing Sex Stories #2

Another round of embarrassing sex stories!

The old switcheroo

Last year my flatmates and I switched rooms twice. This managed to confuse Sam who, having spent all but two nights in one bedroom of mine had to get used to a new switch in June. Unfortunately this culminated in a butt-naked Sam strolling into my flatmate Jessica’s bedroom one afternoon, glass of water in one hand and texting with the other. She wasn’t in (hence the nakedness), but he paid attention to the doors from then on.

Slap ‘n tickle

I have a big issue with being tickled. Even tickly touches from people which are completely unintentional freak me out and my natural reaction is to hit out to try and get their hand off as quickly as possible. One night in bed Sam tried to go down on me, but breathed on my leg (very tickly) and I instinctively slapped him, pretty damn hard. He found it hilarious after I explained, but I was quite embarrassed. Way to ruin the mood Lucy

Hanging up my dirty washing

Before Sam’s first full visit as a proper couple I decided to invest in some sexy clothing. I say ‘clothing’ but the white lacey leotard thing I bought probably doesn’t fit into that category. Come the end of the visit I bunged all my week’s washing in the machine, then went out to uni. I came back hours later to discover that my flatmate Jessica (who has a problem with our relationship) had hung my washing up in the living room, and had draped IT alone on one side of the clothes-horse. Think I just about died then and there.

Lucy x

Craft: Send a Message in a Bottle

I realised I’ve been neglecting the LDR and relationship side of this blog lately, so I thought I’d share with you a really cool idea I got from a blog called  Loving From a Distance. As you most likely have guessed from the title, I sent Sam a message in a bottle! We’re both big on sending love letters (a fab idea if you’re in an LDR or if you just want to surprise your other half), and I’ll go into ways to make these rememberable and special in a future post, but I decided a couple weeks back to change it up, so here’s how:

Step 1: Write your letter, then roll it up and tie with a hair band or ribbon to keep together.

Step 2: Find a plastic 500ml bottle (washed out!) and remove labels

Step 3: Open it up, and put in your letter and anything else you like. I put in some perfume-scented rose petals and a little plastic parrot which I found in my room when I moved into my flat, but I think that sand or glitter would be a really fun addition

Step 4: Seal well with sellotape – you don’t want the lid falling off!

Step 5: Put an address label on, and decorate the outside of the bottle – though keep some space clear so you can still see the letter

Step 6: Go to the post office! Unfortunately these ‘letters’ get sent as small parcels in the UK which is about £3, but worth every penny! You’ll probably get some jokes from the post office worker, but keep your smile on!

Message in a Bottle!

Hope you like this! Lucy x

A-Z of Orgasms

So I lied a little in the title, this isn’t quite the A-Z of orgasms, but I’m going to explain all the different types you can have, and there’s quite a few! (and lot’s of them have one letter names so I’m not really cheating!)

G SPOT – discovered by Ernst Gräfenberg in 1944, it’s 1/3 of the way up the vagina and feels spongey; when it’s stimulated you’ll feel like you need to pee and this can lead to squirting in some women

P SPOT – the male prostate gland found in a guy’s bum, it feels like a hard walnut and when massaged downwards leads to an epic orgasm and a long continous ejaculation

A SPOT – anterior fornix erogenous zone! This is 2/3 up the vagina and when stimulated 95% of women will get instantly turned-on; it can be stimulated best in doggie and seat sex positions

CLITORAL – almost all experts say this has to be stimulated for orgasms; it’s wishbone shaped so can be stimulated from inside the vagina so women who orgasm through penetration alone are thought either to have very large clitorises or that the angle of thrusting pulls against the labia which in turn stimulates it

BLENDED – clitoris & penetration Eg EXTENDED SEXUAL ORGASM TECHNIQUE where the woman does kegel exercises whilst the man switches between stroking the clitoris in circular motions and manually stimulating the Gspot

ACTIVE – before orgasm, push out your kegel muscles – this works as a vacuum, pulling the penis in further, giving a longer deeper Gspot orgasm

SEQUENTIAL – more than one in one session

MULTIPLE – starting new orgasms whilst still riding the wave of the last; 1/3 of women believed to be multi-orgasmic. Men can have these through P spot stimulation whilst controlling their kegels (holding off cumming)

SIMULTANEOUS – both partners orgasm together; best to start her off orally or manually first

FULL BODY – the stuff of Tantric sex!

OMMING – I’ve only heard about this through a Cosmo columnist, but apparently this is an American movement where ‘teachers’ invite couples into a room and the women lie down whilst the teacher goes round the couples and points to where on the women their partner should stimulate! .. FYI, the clitoral hood has to be gently pulled up and the left top part of the clitoris softly rubbed in a downwards motion for 10-15 minutes. This prize is a half hour orgasm

Lucy x

If you liked this post, check out my post Why Do We Orgasm?

The Condom Rant

Fun as it is to not have to use these during sex, condoms are an essential piece of kit for the sex savvy. If like me you’re off hormonal contraception, or if you’re not in a monogamous sexual relationship they’re pretty essential. (Unless you want an STI or a crying baby interrupting your sexy time.)

So I have a gripe with condoms – they’re sooo expensive!! If you buy a pack of 10-12 you’re looking at paying out around £8 – £11! If you have sex every day once or twice that’s setting you back £40 a month just on protection! I realise that not everyone is lucky enough to have sex twice a day (though LDRs tend to make up for it when together).. Of course you can usually get free condoms from doctors surgeries, sexual health centres or youth centres. But most people feel embarrassed using this free service (or think that you can only get ‘normal’ condoms there).

My city council has a card scheme which involves sexual health centres and university student unions. You get a card, turn up at one of these places and get 12 condoms and/or lube. There is a range of condoms to please the masses, and you can go as often or as little as you like, no questions asked. Appreciate this service as I do, I still like to branch out into brands other than Pasante. (colourful as those little packets are)

The other night I was picking up a prescription in Boots and discovered two boxes of Durex condoms – each for £2. Shut the front door! I haven’t tried either of these before, but who doesn’t want an amazing deal, and I’d like to think they will work the magic they say they will. Extended Pleasure and Performance Intense Mutual Climax are part of the ‘love sex’ range from Durex. They both contain benzocaine cream to slow him down, and the latter one is also ribbed and dotted to heighten her orgasm. MAGICAL.

Are they worth the rrp? With the rise of sexual education in countries such as Britain condoms have escalated from an innovative protective device to a multi-million pound industry drawing in consumers through their imaginative selling points. As one of my flatmates said: “Pineapple ones! I want pineapple ones!” Necessary? Well that’s debatable.

Lucy x