Exploring the power of attraction is, I think, something which has both come naturally to, and saturates mine and Sam’s relationship. I think that it would be really interesting from an anthropological perspective to explore the relationship of attraction in couples. Unless you too are part of a couple where the pull of attraction comes out in unusual ways – and I presume the majority of couples will relate to this to some degree – it may be confusing what I mean by that, so I hope this clears it up:
Sam makes me swoon really easily by pretending to bring his face close to kiss mine, and then changing the destination of his lips, to my cheek, nose or forehead. Repeat that 15-20 times and I am literally begging him to properly kiss me! To do this with your partner you need to make it a really focused moment, as if you’re getting really intense – look them in eyes and hold their gaze. It’s a really effective form of teasing which you don’t need to do in the privacy of your bedroom. And when you’re done teasing you can let all that passion loose.
Sam and I have a really strong relationship with words which bring up memories of events that cause intense feelings. There is an emotional tie to each of these words (and actions) which is what causes them to have any sort of effect. Talking about it with Sam, he says that they make him feel close to me, ‘like they’re our own code of love’ and that ‘each word which we turn into our own is a situation that we experience that brings us closer’ CUTE.
Early on in our relationship, Sam used to point at me and say “anticipation” – which would make me literally like fall over. Weird, I know, but bloody effective every time. This started from anticipation of our next kiss. Kind of a progression from the kiss-swooning.
This then evolved into abdominal spasms when either of us says “spasm” to the other, to the extent that it can hurt. When we’re on Skype Sam sometimes says “gravity”, and if I’m lying on my stomach with the laptop in front of me this has before made me hit my head on the keyboard – hence ‘gravity’. We can’t remember how this began, but it pulls us closer together 😉
We also, of course, have the natural reaction to seeing each other’s bodies during video calls. Cue: more abdominal spasms.
So do you think this is really abstractly weird, or do you have your own secret signs of attraction? I think it’s quite gratifying seeing the effect that your words/body/actions have on your partner, whilst not explicitly involving sex in any way.
Lucy x
Sex and the LDR 